| who knew |
[14 Mar 2004|09:05pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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music |
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stereo - pavement |
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Hm. well today was great. Who knew fun dip could be so fun? I sure didnt. But i like it. Anyways, obviously im gonna start updating again. My life is back to normal and its cool. I love it. But i have nothin to say right now except today was the most interesting/fun/exciting/happy/kinky/greatest days ever. Peace.
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[01 Mar 2004|08:37pm] |
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In the past this journal has been updated with the best memories i have. They may not mean much to you, but to me they mean everything. I wouldnt trade anything in the world for these. But now im afraid i wont be updating this anymore. Im sure no one cares, but oh well. The thing is, is im gonna keep all my memories to my self now becuz im not going to corrupt a journal with such great memories with things that wont even compare to the past. So this is it until something special happens.
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| whew |
[23 Feb 2004|12:28am] |
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mood |
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 thankful |
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music |
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greet death - explosions in the sky |
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Its midnight and im tired as hell. I cant fall asleep though. This mid winter break is the best one ive ever had. Usually they are worthless, but not this one. Thursday me and sam sorta called it quits but later that night worked it out like we always do. So that night i stayed the night at donnies house with dan and kevin. That was fun. I woke up in the morning with my head by the open windown and i actually wasnt cold cuz it was fuckin nice outside for once. It was beautiful. I woke up and i saw the sun shining, the breeze blowing in on my me and i felt great. I realized how happy i was and how good things are. Life does get bad sometimes but when its good, its worth it. Just moments like that are worth being alive for. And so is realizing that i still had the girl im in love with. I love samantha so much. As i layed there in donnies room with the breeze and the sun i knew that i want to hold on to this girl for as long as i possibly can. Ill go through anything to be with her cuz i know it will be worth it.
So, after waking up and thinking all that, we decided to get mcdonalds breakfast. We get that, come back and play super mario world. Played that from around 9 to 12 and then i came home and got ready to hang out with sam. I pick her up and we come back to my house. We had the house all to ourselves ;-). It was great. Then, we got ready and went to her aunts house to play cards. I like her family alot. They are so much easier to have a good time with than the majority of mine. At about 1030, we went back to sams house and layed around till 1130 when i went home and went to bed.
Saturday, how i hate saturDAYS, not saturNIGHTS. SaturDAY, i went to work at 12 as usual. It was gay, as usual. I come home at 6, as usual. Sam came over around 7 as usual and my dad went out only to come home and scare the fucking shit out of me and sam. After recovering from shock, me and sam went to see 50 First Dates, which was an excellent movie. Very funny.
Now its sunday. I went to work again. Came home and hung out with samantha cuz sundays are our day where we hang out no matter what. We watched Radio which was pretty good. We ate pizza and had pillow fights. It was very fun. Now im all alone, about to go try and go back to sleep with my ribbon. Goodnight people.
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| 4 months |
[19 Feb 2004|04:16pm] |
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mood |
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 perfect |
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music |
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sad and lonely - the secret machines |
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Today is me and sams 4 months. Im happy about it. Its been a good 4 months. Today was a great day actually. School went by fast, its nice outside, and im just waitin for sam to call me now. We get progress reports soon tho, and im not happy about that. I thought i was doing good, but i guess i got off to a bad start. Oh well. Are you all as excited for the new Modest Mouse album as I am? Im excited as shit. I cant wait. It was supposed to be out in september but that got moved way back to april 6th. March 9th, re-release of The Moon and Antarctica too. That should be damn good. I love Modest Mouse. Yep, so sam should be calling soon so im gonna get ready. Peace.
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| im updating |
[15 Feb 2004|09:19pm] |
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mood |
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itchy |
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music |
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non existant |
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Yeah, so not much has really been goin on lately. Just been chillin with Sam, Dan, Kevin and Donnie. Im not gonna play at bandfest, just cuz i dont want to. No one i know plays the same music i wanna play. Everyone i used to play with isnt around anymore, but they werent as motivated as id like them to be. Jims busy with his band which is cool. I dunno what gregg and gary have been doing musically lately and joe never really liked the same music anyways. But its cool i guess. Im more into making electronic music now. I never really do it much, but when i get the chance its fun. My car got paintballed. Its cool tho cuz it gave me a reason to finally get a car wash. I just need to clean out the inside now. Im waiting till it hits 50 degrees then ill get out there and clean the bitch. Id really like to get a new car. Im thinkin a Grand Prix or Grand Am. Valentines day was great. Had a really good night. There is no one id rather spend it with than sam too. I love her with all my heart. Oh, and Rene Gomez...shut the fuck up. No one was talking to you so just go away. Its real cool to call people twat balls cuz that doesnt make you sound like your 5 years old or anything. And im a coke head? I wasnt aware of that. And emily, why dont you get better at cutting. Anyways, thats all, im gonna go do coke in the bathroom. Goodnight.
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| well now |
[07 Feb 2004|10:49am] |
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mood |
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 tired/lonely |
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music |
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six days at the bottom of the ocean - explosions |
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Last night was just absolutely crazy. I worked till 6 which was not crazy. After work i sat around till 830 waiting to eat dinner. That was not crazy. I then left and picked up Dan, Kevin and Donnie. THAT was crazy. We drove to value world so dan could buy his cape, but they were closed. After that we just drove around. We stole a head off a snowman, drove it to taco bell and put it on top of some girls car. They were pretty surprised about that. After that we just drove around and found another snowman and donnie destroyed it with a weapon of mass destruction (screwdriver). That may not sound crazy, cuz that wasnt the real crazy part. This is...
We drove around some more till we found a house that had one of those candy canes in its yard thats about 2 feet high and made of solid plastic and sled. Donnie proceeded to steal both. We decided to take the sled sledding at taylor hills. At the hill we found another sled. I was carrying the sled up the hill when Dan took the candy cane and attempted to destroy the sled with it. He destroyed my hand instead. It has two huge cuts on it and i think it might be broke a little bit cuz its still not moving much. Its swollen pretty bad too. So, we all concluded that my hand was broke and i needed to go home. So being stupid as i am, i told Donnie to drive my car. I figured it would be ok cuz hes 17 but i forget to figure in that Donnie doesnt have a drivers licenses. So were driving and we get pulled over. We think its cuz donnie had a funny hat on and cops just assume were on some drugs cuz of it, which we werent. So the cop pulls us over and comes up to the car, asks donnie for his license taht donnie doesnt have. Strike 1. He asks whose car it is and i say its mine...from the passengers seat. Strike 2. He asks for donnies name so he can run it through the computer...donnie gave him the wrong name. Strike 3. He asks us if we have anything in the car he should know about...yes. Strike 4. He tells me, as he has me dan and kevin bent over the front of his car while he searches us, that we were speeding and blew a stop sign...Strike 5 and 6. So six offenses. We didnt get a ticket for any of them. It was such a relief. Still one problem though. Donnies sitting in the back of a police car. We thought for sure he was gonnna be arrested but thankfully they let him go too. So after that i dropped them off, went home and showed my dad my hand to see if i should go to the hospital or not. We decided not too. So that concludes the craziest night of my life. It would have all been better if Sam could have hung out. But she couldnt. Its not your fault baby. Your parents are just nuts. I missed you all last night.
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| we used to sleep on the beach |
[05 Feb 2004|04:59pm] |
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mood |
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great |
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music |
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monheim - godspeed |
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Man. I havnt updated this beast in a while. Not too much has happend though. Ill just put everything for the hell of it. Saturday, me and sam broke up. Sunday, me and sam got back together. Hah, yeah its kinda funny, but im just glad were back together. Thats all that matters. I guess I am gonna be playing at bandfest. Me and Joe Mazur are teaming up and recruiting some others to play along. Expect a nice jam of My Father My King. That will rock. Fo sho. I order 2 shirts of luckyhorse. It took them a little over a week to even ship them, but they were here the day after they shipped them, which is today. That is crazy. One day to deliver. Not bad. I got a red stars theory shirt which is gonna make me look like a faggot but I love the shirt. I dont care who calls me a faggot. Its got a big blue lamb on it. Its cute actually. I also got a MTB shirt and zip up hoodie. Im psyched. I love all three. I gave my dad my report card today also, which went over pretty well considering i had 2 E's. Im not in any trouble at all. I guess hes realized that grounding and yelling wont do anything. Ah well. I got ANOTHER ticket. For parking. I was parked in 2 hour parking for 3 hours. What can ya do though? shit happens. Anyways, i got nothin left to say. Just waitin for sam to call me. Im outta here. Lata.
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[01 Feb 2004|09:15pm] |
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mood |
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relieved |
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music |
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workin on leavin the livin - modest mouse |
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Well everything is normal again. I got the most important thing in my life back. Im very happy. Everything is good again. Everythings ok.
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[01 Feb 2004|10:39am] |
But I wish I felt nothing
Then it might be easy for me
Like it is for you
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[01 Feb 2004|01:01am] |
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Yeah. My life is over. All i have left now is...nothing. I hit my low and i lost all i needed. Everything i had going for me is gone. I thought i would be like all pissed off and everything, and maybe i am, i really dont know though cuz i feel like...i dont even feel anymore. I lost all emotions tonight. I dont know whats what. My last update i said that i figured everything out but 'when i finally get it figured out, i chang the whole damn plan'. I dont have shit figured out. I always try to look into the future and try to guess where ill be when i graduate and i dont even see anything. Ill probably live in this same basement. Same futon for a bed. Same couch. Same posters on the wall. Same radio. Same TV. Same everything. We had dreams of big things. Dreams of california. Dreams of what to do with the rest of our lives. Dreams of where we will be when we graduate. But as most of you know, i never follow the things i say, and i always said "Dreams are made for sleeping". I should have listened. I wish i could just sleep forever. I wish i could spend the rest of my life in that world. Everything is good when im asleep. Then i wake up and im in a nightmare. I want to be asleep forever. I want to be in that world. Theres only 2 ways to get there, and frankly, im tired of going to bed.
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| = ) |
[30 Jan 2004|10:09pm] |
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mood |
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 loved |
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Ok, I say this all the time, but tonight was just the best. After I picked up Sam, we went to dinner with her parents at clementes. It was fun except I wasnt very hungry but I ate anyways and I felt sick sorta. After that, me and Samay went to Kroger. We picked up a 4 pack of Jones Green Apple Soda and 2 Jones Juices. After that we went to my house and layed around. We took a nap and stuff. It was just wonderfull. Im in love with this girl. Its amazing. Now shes gone though, and I miss her already =*( I cant hang out with her till sunday. But sunday will be fun.
Thats all.
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| shit happens |
[30 Jan 2004|04:37pm] |
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mood |
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pleased |
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music |
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memorial - explosions in the sky |
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Im bored. Usually i dont update during the day, but i have nothing else to do. Im waiting for Sam to call me so we can hang out and eat taco bell.
Im really happy lately. I did a sort of 'soul cleansing' i guess you could say. I know everything i want in my life right now. Im starting to draw more, i play guitar all the time, i hang out with my new friends, kevin and dan, who are very good friends i might add. Im friends with Elyse again which rocks. Everything is perfect right now. Theres nothing more that i could ask for, except for maybe lunch with Sam at school. But even if i dont get that, its cool cuz everything is great. Tonight im hanging out with sam and ive never been more excited for it. Today while i was waiting for her, i was thinking about how great my relationship with her is. Its perfect in every way. Shes amazing and i hope that im with her for as long as possible. I love her with all of my heart.
But shes ready to hang out now, so im gonna go be with her. Ill see the rest of you later.
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| tonight was sweet |
[29 Jan 2004|09:10pm] |
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mood |
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excellent |
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music |
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monkey knife fight - minus the bear |
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Tonight was just great. School wasnt even bad and then afterwards i came home to hang out with sam. At like 630 we left to go to dinner with my brothers and my dad. I thought sam would freak out and not want to go, but fortunatley she came. Im so glad she came. We ate a fabulous mexican dinner, then went to best buy for like 2 minutes then went to a parking lot, listened to minus the bear and exeperienced the greatest kiss ever. I dont think a kiss could get any better than that one. Its not possible. I love you sam. Your the best.
So now for some ranting. Whats with people thinking they are cool? Just so you know, your name is *****. Your a joke. Go away cuz no one likes you. And stop thinking you have friends cuz you dont. They dont like you. They make fun of you behind your back. Your boyfriend doesnt even like you.
Thats all. See ya.
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| kids will be skeletons |
[28 Jan 2004|09:02pm] |
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mood |
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very good |
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music |
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track 3 - mogwai |
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Today was cool...after work that is. I wont even get into what happend yesterday cuz it was a tuesday and it sucked, except for at night when i was with my baby. But today was good. Me and samay just layed around and watched American Idol. Tomorrow shes going to dinner with me, hopefully.
Other than that...theres really nothing to talk about right now. Hm. Pretty uneventful future for me, except for tomorrow. Oh well, its all good.
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| hmmm |
[25 Jan 2004|10:02pm] |
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mood |
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energetic |
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music |
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the only moment we were alone - explosions in the sky |
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This weekend was scrumtrulescent.
Friday - Hung out with Sam and played GTAIII until like 530ish cuz she had to get ready to go elyses. So i went home and called dandan and kevin cuz i was supposed to stay the night at kevins. Well, like 10 minutes later Sam calls me and tells me she can still hang out cuz shes not goin to elyses, which was sweet. So me her dan and kevin all hung out with marc odum till 10 when sam had to go home. After that i went to kevins and me him and dan all listened to Aphex Twin until wee hours of the morning.
Saturday - After getting 3.5 hours of sleep at kevins, i left to go get ready for work. I worked from 12 to 6 as usual which was dumb. I flooded a big section of the store which was cool cuz then we had to clean the whole fucking floor of the entire store. After that i went home, took a shower and got ready cuz me and samantha were supposed to go see The Butterfly Effect. She wasnt home from her cousins yet so i went and picked her up and we left for the show. The movie was fuckin awesome man. It really was. We saw Kathleen and her guyfriend Tom Stahl (spelling?). He was a cool guy. After that i dropped her off and we talked on the phone till like 130.
Sunday - Worked from 12 to 3. After that, i got ready and picked up sam. We went and rented Day of the Dead, which was NOT the right movie. We wanted Dawn of the Dead in celebration of the new version coming out in march. So we got Day of the Dead and Malibus Most Wanted, which, i might add, was not very good. At all. Day of the Dead was good tho. My brother and his kids were also over, which was annoying, but they left after a short while and me and sam had the rest of the night to ourselves which was great. Great. FUCKING great. lol.
But thats all, now im just listening to explosions in the sky and talkin online. So im outta here. Lata.
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| I'm cool |
[23 Jan 2004|07:57pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
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music |
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digital sounds |
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yeah thats right im pussy whipped
yeah i said it i have no back bone and my girlfriend controls my life
;)
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| we drive around the lake |
[22 Jan 2004|08:43pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
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music |
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monkey knife fight - minus the bear |
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Ill start with last night.
Me and Sam got back together. Im so glad. I think we both knew we would end up back together. Its awesome. She told me Elyse is cool with me if im cool with her, so Elyse if your reading this, im totally cool with you.
Today Sam was supposed to hang out with mmm&r but i guess that fell through cuz me and her ended up hanging out. We sat around her house for a little while and when her mom got home we went and got taco bell. After that we hung out at my house and just 'watched tv'. It was cool. Except she doesnt feel good =\ I hope you feel better.
Bandfest meeting tomorrow. Guess whos not going?
Fuck you.
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| k i l ll me n o w |
[21 Jan 2004|09:02pm] |
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mood |
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 crappy |
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Today SUCKS. Sucked sucked sucked sucked sucked. I wish today would die.
Its my fault though. I had everything going my way then i threw it all away. Im a fucking idiot. Seriously i am. I gave my life away. I really did. How could i do such a fucking stupid thing. I lost sam, and i know shes mad at me, and honestly i dont blame her one bit. I dont deserve her. I dont deserve anything she ever did for me. I wasted her time. Im so sorry.
...thats it.
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| yayo |
[20 Jan 2004|10:10pm] |
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mood |
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not bad, not bad |
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music |
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first breath after coma - explosions in the sky |
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Man. Mid terms tomorrow. Im so damn glad this god forsaken semester is over. This semester = highly refined life. Not just school life. Im gonna make things better in my real life too. Its a mission.
Tonight i realized how much i really love sam. I came close to losing her for the second time in a week. I have to get my act together. She deserves better and im gonna try hard as possible to deliver. I swear. Things are only going to get better.
Anyways, bandfest meeting on friday...im NOT going. I guess i have to say bye bye to bandfest AGAIN... so FUCK YOU. (you should know who you are).
Thats all for now, peace.
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| my father ; my king |
[18 Jan 2004|09:25pm] |
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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my father my king - mogwai |
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I redid those whole gay thing. Its pretty cool now.
Theres a meeting for bandfest on friday and i gotta go to it. But, Joe said he doesnt know if he wants to play it or not which is gay, cuz why wouldnt you want to? If I dont play bandfest, people will start to die. Seriously.
Im hanging out with Kevin and Dan more now. They are cool cats. We hung out friday and saturday. It was cool. Friday they stayed the night. Also earlier on friday i hung out with Sam. It was sad at first then we talked and worked it out. Then we hung out with them demons for a while and then she had to go home =/ So we dropped her off and met Meghan and Micah at the grind. It was sweet. I talked to Meghan about me and Sam and I called Sam and woke her dad up and he got mad at me but i dont care cuz i had to tell her i love her.
Saturday we hung out then picked up Sam and Devo for about an hour. After that i went home.
Today i just hung out with Sam again. We ate taco bell. I had a great night. Thats all.
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